Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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