Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
