omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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