that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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