Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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