You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
