I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
