hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
