It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
