dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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