whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
