please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
