so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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