If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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