Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Quick, to the slutcave!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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