Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
