I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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