after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
