Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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