Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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