Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
