It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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