So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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