Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
