come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize