this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
