weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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