And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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