Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
