He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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