all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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