I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
PANTIES FOUND
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