Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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