Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
