Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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