this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
