but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
