drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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