IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
