I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize