Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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