he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
