dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
