no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
