If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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