so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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