She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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