I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
