Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
