How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
