We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
