sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
