Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
