She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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