I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
tell me about the fingering
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