I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
