shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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