Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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