You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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