Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize