Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
