He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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