Just cropdusted the office
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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