Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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