Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His nipple licking is glorious
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