this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize