respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
