Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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