Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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