hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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