so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ttyl tear gas
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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