I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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