I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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