so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize