i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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