That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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