so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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