champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
