you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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