Don't you send me to vm
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
